Is it their expectations that are too high, or are we really disappointing?
Sometimes life is confusing when we try to connect with people who don’t actually fit in
Today I met someone who was filled with so much anger towards another person because of a past mistake. Their story was overflowing with emotion, like they forgot that the person they hated is human too. Listening to it made me feel angry, upset, and confused.
Haven’t we all made mistakes at some point?
Their words made me reflect on my own missteps, and soon I found myself asking:
- How do people perceive me today based on my past mistakes?
- Do they see me as a terrible person?
- Am I the worst in their eyes?
- Do I not deserve forgiveness?
As these thoughts began to spiral, I found myself sitting quietly, and a single truth emerged: “But I’m only human.”
I’m just an ordinary person, capable of making mistakes. No matter how much good I try to do, I’m bound to slip up. Every day, even with the best intentions, I’ll make mistakes. Because, at the end of the day, I’m simply human.
Sometimes I wonder, who is really disappointing whom?
Is it us who truly disappoint others, or are their expectations of us just too high? What kinds of mistakes can be forgiven, and which ones can’t? Can’t someone who’s made mistakes change for the better? Does making a mistake brand you as the worst forever?
And again, is the past only reserved for those who have messed up today? And is the future only for those who are doing right today? What if the future of someone who’s made mistakes turns out to be bright, and vice versa?
What if, in the end, the one who made mistakes finds peace, and the others don’t?
People are so unpredictable; we never know what step they’ll take in the next moment. That one step could change their entire future, leading them to become better versions of themselves or vice versa.
As I bring these thoughts together, here are a few life lessons I’ve gathered:
- The negative image others have of us because of our mistakes is the price we pay. Like it or not, we have to accept that.
- And let’s not forget to forgive others, too. Maybe we’ve been the ones with high expectations, holding back forgiveness.
Maybe we’ve been selfish or even played the victim, blaming others for our downfall. We’ve cursed others so much that we lost sight of ourselves. Haven’t we all done that?
When your mind is flooded with so many questions, and it becomes hard to distinguish between what’s truly good and what’s actually bad, my advice is to seek help — talk to a friend or even consult a professional.
The concepts of forgiveness, both asking for it and granting it, are deeply tied to the heart and mind, and sometimes they can blur together, making it difficult to know which path to take.
The journey of forgiving yourself and others is often a long one, sometimes even a lifelong process.
There will be moments when you find yourself regretting and revisiting the past, but that’s all part of the process.
However, here’s a little piece of advice:
Let’s try to forgive, even though it’s hard.
Forgive, because it’s never too late.
Forgive, because it’s the only way to let go of the burden.
Forgiving doesn’t mean we have to be close again; sometimes, keeping distance is necessary.
Forgive, because we’re all just human.
To close, here’s a quote from my favorite book, “Love for Imperfect Things” by Haemin Sunim:
“Because I have experienced pain, I am able to embrace the pain of others. Because I have made mistakes, I am able to forgive others their mistakes. May my suffering become the seed of compassion.”
